I personally find it difficult when people say to just “be positive.” Have you ever attempted to be positive all the time? Humans are emotional creatures. Suppressing emotions that arise is not only unnatural but can potentially be unhealthy. Contrast and duality are needed to fully experience life. After all, how would you know how happiness feels if you never experience sadness?
In Chinese medicine they claim emotions come up to be released. If we use that philosophy, rather than repress anger, sadness, frustration, or other emotions that might arise, we can allow these feelings to move and flow through us.
Before we discuss various methods to achieve this, let’s contemplate what is meant by the statement, “Joy as a default?” Instead of attempting to be positive or happy all the time, what if you allow yourself to feel and release emotions as they arise? Once you allow these emotions to move through you, they may begin to seem less scary. And over time you can create a habitual pattern of moving back to a state of joy as a default. These practices are best started before you need them to create a habitual pattern. Although they can work to calm a reaction to a stressor right away, it will be much easier if you have already done them consistently before you need them. Please keep in mind that if you are experiencing signs of depression it is suggested that you talk to a professional therapist before trying any of these exercises.
The first step in achieving this is to learn how to naturally bring up the feeling of joy. Some say joy comes from the inside and happiness from external situations. If joy comes from the inside, then regardless of your circumstances you should be able to access it at any time. One way to do this is to bring to mind a time when you felt happy, joyful, and uplifted. It can be a place, a person, an animal or a memory, but you will want to ask yourself where in your body you feel the joy. Maybe the feeling is in your heart, your solar plexus, or your head. Take some time and let that feeling slowly expand throughout your body. When you feel it in every cell, remember that feeling. It is important that you focus on the feeling, NOT the memory, You will want to recall this as your default.
Another way to practice joy is to engage in the present moment. This is a place where there is no fear or regret from the past and no anxiety or worry of the future. One of the best ways to access the present moment is to take one full minute and concentrate on your breath. This should help your mind become clear and focused. Once you are clear, in order to achieve a state of joy, you first want to access gratitude. Everything is relative and therefore, there is always something to be grateful for. Try taking the next minute and run through your mind everything in your life that you are grateful for and brings you joy. Where in your body do you feel this? Allow that feeling to permeate every cell of your being. It’s this feeling you are going to practice recalling as your default.
Once you can access this uplifting feeling on command, we can review some specific practices and exercises to feel and release emotions that may arise. Some common ways to achieve emotional release are physical exercise, listening to your favorite music, journaling, connecting with another, or engaging in a specific emotional release practice. All these have the potential to move the energy and emotion through you so it doesn’t get stuck in your body or stagnate which can cause dis-ease.
One emotional release practice is to buy a small bag of rice. Wrap it completely several times with duct tape, get two wooden dowels or sticks and when you have a more heated emotion like anger or frustration beat the rice bag while vocalizing what is bothering you.
You can also use breathwork to help release unwanted emotions and calm the nervous system. For example, if you are feeling excess anxiety or anger you can inhale fairly quickly through your nose (about 1-2 seconds) then very slowly exhale making a soft “haaaa” sound as if you are fogging up glasses. You want to exhale as long as possible (at least 30 seconds).
If you are feeling excess fear, insecurity or loneliness try the same breathing pattern, but this time make a soft whistling sound like a strong wind blowing through small gaps in a window. Once again exhale for as long as possible (at least 30 seconds). Both these practices will calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety and excess emotion.
Like all practices, allow time for an appropriate adaptation response to occur. Creating a new habitual pattern takes time to develop in order for it to become second nature. Just be patient, continue to practice, and over time you should find your overall attitude improves. These practices have the potential to alleviate many physical symptoms, boost your immune system, encourage healthy sleep patterns, calm your nervous system, and improve the overall state and balance of your life force energy. Not every practice works for every person. If you practice one or two of these suggestions and they are not resonating with you, continue to experiment until you find one that does.